Man, Bendis is ******** up.

Keep in mind that I did not buy Powers because I read it in trade. I'm sure it was up to that book's normal level of quality. But, yup, kind of a weak showing from that lovable Black Francis/Bob Hoskins look-a-like that writes half of Marvel's books and is hated on the internet, yet loved when it comes to sales (Why it almost seems like people use the anonymoty of the internet to make ridiculous claims that they themselves don't even believe to be true. Curious?) Anyway, obvious points and desperate bids for humor and reflection aside onto the books.

Secret Invasion #4 - It really was better than three. Pretty much same formula as the last few. A little chatting, Skrully mind games, ten pages of punching and yelling and then someone shows up at the end to change the tide next issue...maybe? It's probably because issue 1 was so good, but damn all of this rising action. (And on a side note, the thing I've noticed this summer is that seems to be like Crisis on Infinite Earths vs. Secret Wars all over again, even though they didn't come out at the same time. On the one hand you've got mainstays getting killed, worlds collapsing and broad ideas that loosely tie into actual scientific theory like string theory. And on the other you've got a cloud of talking gas, Titania, the Wasp winning over the Lizard, the Wasp dying and the Wasp getting better, and Jehri curls in the sequel. Oh, and the Wasp making out with Magneto. Rant over)

Ultimate Origins #2- Hey, let's re-tell the origin of Cap...again. But this time he's reading about aliens while training. Oh, and Ultimate Project Pegasus. Because that's what we need. You know, because when you want to streamline a line of books the best idea is always including late silver to early bronze age concepts. Oh, Ultimate Jocasta, one day you will be a reality. But anyway, this just seems forced, unnecesary and silly. Pretty much after the whole Canadian government creating mutants in a Dept. H basement in a botched attempt to create super soldiers thing kind of soured me on this series. Oh, and Dr. Cornelius looks pretty good for 103 in Ultimate X-men Vol. 2 I guess. Seriously, am I the only person reading these things anymore.

Final Crisis Requiem - Pretty decent for a tie in. Touching and violent all at once and Mahnke. Glorious Mahnke. Oh, and it had enough of the what are they called...words, to justify the four buck price tag...unlike certain summer event books that shall remain nameless. I'm giving it the thumb up.

Joker's Asylum: Penguin - This is a dramatic improvement over last week's offering...which I would have told you not to buy if I wasn't at a family reunion. But yup, Aaron writes a solid one and Pearson's art is reminiscent of a young Chris Bacchalo. I dig Chris Bacchalo. Just clearing up the confusion. Anyway, solid read and stays way truer to the character than the Joker one from last week.

Young Liars #5 - This comic will sodomize your brain and make your soul cry tears of blood. Seriously, this is possibly the most abhorrent comic book I've read since...last week's issue of The Boys. Now, usually that sort of disturbing and lurid for the sake of it thing is right up my alley. I mean Preacher is one of if not my favorite on going of all time, but the difference with Preacher was that it was grounded with characters that you fell in love with, social commentary , wit and the over top violence and adult situations. Problem is that they seem to be relying solely on shock to get the numbers. But, I am kind of curious to see where this is going. God, I'm a hypocrite.

Captain Britain & MI 13 #3 - I really think Matt covered all of this. Go, buy this. Now. It's awesome.

Guadians of the Galaxy #3 - It's a fun read. And you can get into if you didn't read any of the Annihilation books. I didn't. So, there you go.

Last Defenders #5 - At this point does it even matter. You're either with it or not. I do dig the whole Bizzarro Defenders being the team that was always meant to be and all angle. And I'm always down for some Son of Satan. Mainly because of Ultimate Son of Satan, but I digress. It's a decent mini all things considered.

Captain America White #0 - This is seriously the best thing that Jeph Loeb has done in the past few years. It may be the fond memories of past Sale/ Loeb collaborations (probably is), but this was the superior retelling of the Cap origin story of the week. Good stuff.

Amazing Spider-Man #565 - Apparently all it took to make Spider-Man fun again was to ignore the rest of the Marvel Universe and just let him do his thing. And get rid of JMS. Although a customer brought up an interesting point, was it Loeb or editorial that was mucking up the works for the past few years? I mean the first couple JMS arcs were pretty good. Anyway, this new arc with girl Kraven is alright. Not life changing not god awful. Middle of the road stuff. I'm sure the apathy is leaping off the page right now.

Invincible Iron Man #3 - Oh, that Matt Fraction spins a lovely yarn. Great stuff all over, and he also teaches a class on how you capitalize on the movie. Buy this for serious.

Booster Gold #1,000,000 - It's as continuity heavy and treacly as ever. Seriously, it's a cute book with time travel. I personally like time travel and elseworlds stories so I like the book. And I've always liked Booster, and I always preferred semi-competent Booster so there you go. It's like a slightly more masculine Hellcat meets Sliders with the same number of hugs and less use of the word golly.

Young X-Men #4 - Well, *SPOILER ALERT* Cyclops is not a Skrull, because that would have made so much sense in this context, but well, it's just stupid, and obvious. Moreover, this book is just so...underwhelming. And, for god's sake can we all stop saying cuzin'. God, this book makes my brain hurt. And, I mean you have this big twist in at the end of the first issue, that, while totally illogical and out of the blue was at the least bit interesting. Instead, you go for the obvious twist in this issue that negates the initial draw of the book.

Action Comics # ??? - I left this in the store, but it was pretty solid. And yes, Supergirl is terrifying as rendered. I think Matt already hit the majority of the bases. Solid Johns writing and Gary Frank doing a majority of things right. Except for Supergirl, who looks like Kara Zor-Hell. (God, that was a lame joke, but I had to do it.)

Goon #26 - Oh, it's on now. After some meandering here and there between arcs this new one is off and running. There's action, humor and what else do you want? It's got action, humor the same consistent art and everything else that has made this book a critical darling. And as a critic it is my darling.

Lost Boys #3 - This is seriously made for fans of the movie with three dollars to waste on a, frankly, asinine tie in. Seriously, The Widow Johnson? Just, gah. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Oh, well, see you next week. Take it easy internet

La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo

So, you know what I'll be doing later...or not. And I got deadlines on some contests so I'm going to make this quick for now. Firstly, the old business, every person that I have talked to about Ultimate Origins (Spoiler that appears in the ads) agrees that: the Canadian government creating mutants in a basement in Dept. H as an answer to super soldiers is just silly. You really have to say it out loud though to get the silliness of it all. Or write it out. Now, onto the new business in no particular order this weeks books. Oh, and for those wanting the quick fix things were greatly less crappy this week.

Booster Gold #10 - Decent wrap up. Questions answered logically. Competent artwork. So close to being a haiku review, but anyway that about sums it up. I dig this book and it's awe inspiring adequacy. And I would wholly recommend it to any fan of the DC universe at large, people with fond boyhood memories of Dan Jurgens or anyone who loves the totally un-ironic naming of Skeets.

Lost Boys: Reign of Frogs - Hmmm...How do I put this? This book is really only for hardcore fans of the movie, Cory Feldman and the late 80's. The art is straight ass. The story is fairly ludicrous. And the dialog is...thankfully anachronistic...I mean they don't say radical that often so small favors and all that. But, my inner masochist is curious about the ending so I'm going to finish it up. God knows I've continued worse runs for the sake of completion.

Secret Invasion: Who Do You Trust - Thoroughly better than Civil War: Choosing Sides. Seriously, you get gregarious Beast, a mercifully short Capt. Marvel bit (I just think this whole resurrection psych out bit is a travesty), Marvel Boy actually does something (although when the hell is this happening in the time line? Because he takes the cube during Civil War I think, which Bendis obviously didn't read I can't keep this stuff straight anymore) Anyway, typical Marvel issues of space time notwithstanding it was a decent little anthology I thought.

Locke & Key #5 - Go buy this book already. It's that good. This issue was probably my least favorite yet, but that's only because it's setting up that climax. Good stuff.

Goon # 25 - Read above comments. Except that it wasn't my least favorite issue. Pretty much if you're already on the train stay on, and if you're not on get on. It'll improve your cred.

Young Liars #4 - This book is spilling over with vitriol. The characters are repellent. But somewhere in this anarchic hug free zone I'm digging it, cautiously. It's probably because of the uneven quality of some of the books at Vertigo in the past couple of years *cough* American Virgin *cough* that has made me reticent in praising it, or recommending it and the like. I guess it's that I'm beginning to wonder if this book is just going to rely entirely on attitude or if this story is going to amount to anything terribly interesting. So, they've got me on style waiting on substance.

Amazing Spider-Man #562 - Fun. Makes me wonder if it's the BND or the regime change that has made this book enjoyable again. It's probably a little of both. And I also think that it's a bit surprising that it took so much silliness to make Spier-Man fun again.

Trinity #2 - I am bowled over by this books competence. That is all.

Titans #3 - Why am I reading this? Eh, I kind of like the art. I grew up in the J. Scott Campbell years. That's all there is to it. It looses a bit of it's charm when you read the words though.

Captain Britain and MI 13 #2 - So...how is it that this tie in is better than the main book? I mean things happen every issue. Characters sound different from each other. They develop. Um, there's no Daisy Johnson (they should just call her Chick-tor...once I get the copyright of course). My only real problem with Daisy is that she just sounds like if Ultimate Spidey and Deena Pilgrim had some sort of snarky baby together or something. Tangents aside, Capt. Britain may be the best thing coming out of SI.

Salvation Run #7 - This book really should have come out on time. Kind of takes the punch out of it now that it's all been said and done...for like a month or two. Although, in fairness, it's not like the ending wasn't a forgone conclusion. Just like the events in another oft delayed book that reemerged recently. It was fun while it lasted though.

Skaar Son of Hulk # 1 - Decent read. Shame it's done in four minutes. Hence the super short review.

Green Arrow/ Black Canary #9 - The only thing redeeming about this book is the artwork o Cliff Chiang. Without said Chiang, I just lose interest. I don't know that's a tad harsh...but pretty close to accurate. I guess the main problem with this book is the tone. It was fine during the first arc because it was a wacky escape from Paradise Island. But a global search for a brain dead Connor Hawke seems like an odd place for all of the attempts at the Bwa- Ha-Ha.

That's about it really. Still got a couple more books to read so I'll probably be back on at some point to finish things up. Take it easy internet.

Comics Reviews...From the PAST!

Labor Day or whatever we just celebrated kind of threw me off. Plus, Verizon totally [edit] me over on installing my high-speed interwebs connection, so I still lack the ability to post from home. Because I still have dial-up. Because I have not advanced technologically since 1996, apparently (because, before that I had a 14.4 k modem, so I've moved up). Anyway:


The only DC book I read this week was, apparently, The Spirit #17, a book that continues its swift decent to be a strong competitor for "Worst Book I Read Out of Habit". Much like the other competitors (Game Keeper, Ultimate Fantastic Four, Ultimates 3... actually there's a lot of competition here) it's a book that I used to like, but the bailing of A-List (or at least competent) teams or individuals has absolutely destroyed it. Here, Darwyn Cooke made a terrific, enjoyable, all-ages package that has then been defamed by otherwise competent creators. This issue has Spirit taking a sea cruise and ripping off a plot from "Murder, She Wrote". The art, which had been by Mike Ploog and Paul Smith on previous issues, is by Aluir Amancio, whose cheesecake renditions seem out of place at best.


Indies also had a weak showing: I only picked up Gargoyles: Bad Guys #3, which I enjoyed. It's Gargoyles, so I'll spare you a review. But, it's like the show, but a comic.


Now, on to Marvel. Fun fact, a year ago, I was buying more DC than Marvel.


Amazing Spider-Man #560 continues a string of enjoyable Spidey stories. I had doubts, but really, it's the closest to a kid-friendly in continuity book either Marvel or DC has. People can complain about the violence but, come on, I read Grendel when I was far too young and I'm fine. Ish. Good stuff, really.


Captain America #38 just kind of rules. I don't know why every single comic-reading person is not buying this book. Great cover, awesome art, and the early reveal is just SO good. Brubaker is awesome at pulling off twists that are obvious and surprising all at once (see Criminal, Sleeper, et al). Plus, I am just happy Secret Invasion has not insinuated itself into his grand epic like, say, Civil War did (although, that worked out okay).

Fantastic Four #557 continues Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch's very decent run on the title. Hopefully, the next storyline will be an improvement, but it is depressing that the book I was looking forward to so much has turned into something so blah. It's better than Stracynski's run (or sprint), though.

X-Factor #31 was perfectly fine. And the Arcade story is done, so that's nice.

Rounding out the week, there were two Ultimate books (an improvement over past months that saw four to five Ultimate books ON THE SAME DAY), Fantastic Four and X-Men, and both were bad for their own, unique reasons. UFF #54 had some terrible Liefeld-meets-Turner art by Tyler Kirkham. Mike Carey's script is fine, though, if a little padded out to set up the "big reveal" (which was lame).

Then, there was Ultimate X-Men #94, which, just, baaah! I'm not going to defend Robert Kirkman here; his run was somewhere between awful and unreadable. He deliberately went against the established Ultimate continuity (how hard is it to pay attention to all of 50 issues of continuity, really). He wrote a spasmodic, borderline-masturbatory version of '90s excess comics. But, I swear, Aron Collete is worse. Because he writes his book like it IS a '90s X-Men book. Men of Mystery! Random violence! Characters spouting non-sense to build mystique! (Note: I don't care who really Sasquatch is, no matter how much you want me to). So, yeah, this is just a bad as Kirkman's run, but different bad.

And that's the week. I realize now that, if I didn't read bad books, I'd read no books at all. Which is depressing.

And the posts keep trickling in

I worked really hard to read four whole comics just for y'all:

Thunderbolts #120: I would read Warren Ellis' "Norman Osborn: Director of Thunderbolts." Also, apparently OMD in Amazing Spider-Man erased everything Straczynski did on the title, and brought Harry Osborn back to life, but it could not undo the Stacy twins? Seriously? I still liked this a heck of a lot (even when they showed people who were not Norman Osborn), and especially compared to

newuniversal: shockfront #1: I was actually excited to read this. In the year since the last series ended, I had developed fond memories of the original series (though not fond enough to re-read it). After reading this, though, I remembered my problem with the previous series: it was boring. And this, despite explosions, mass destruction, and killing, is slower. Three pages of complaining about manga? Really? Explaining Spitfire and then not featuring her, like, AT ALL? Justice killing people off-panel? At least without an A-list artist there's a chance it'll come out on time.

Amazing Spider-Man #559: If you've been reading Brand New Day, this is more of the same: New villain, Peter has no money, quick read, awesome art, overall very good (and much better than last issue).

Wolverine: Amazing Immortal Man and Other Bloody Tales: I'll read anything with Wolverine. Or Cable. It's my guilty pleasure, shut up. Actually, except Origins, which I dropped after about issue 12 because, well, nothing happened in 12 issues, so... But this? I've never read Stray Bullets, so maybe I'm not "getting" something here, but these three short stories by David Lapham are just bad. Terrible. Terror, Inc. looks subtle and complex by comparison. So, the book is three short stories illustrated by different artists that show Wolverine at various times in the past (all during his "kill'em all and let God sort 'em out" phase) being an Emo charicature of Wolverine: delivering babies, being a sypathetic shoulder to cry on, letting toddler killers go so they can grow up and become real killers before he then kills them, and so forth. I feel dirty owning this (and I have Lost Girls). Dreadful.