If comics get reviewed in a forest and no one is around to hear - Matt on 6/10

Hey, remember those other guys who used to post here sometimes? They seemed nice. I wonder what ever happened to them. Also, the two people who used to comment. Ah well. Comics!

۞ Okay, I've mentioned how much I'm enjoying Batman R.I.P., right? Like, in a non-ironic, non-negative way? Because I really, really am. So why is nothing even resembling that storyline showing up in this ostensible crossover with Detective #846? I'll admit that I think Hush is a monumentally stupid character, so I'm prejudiced against this from the jump, but this is ... Look, in a vacuum this would be okay. Ish. I guess. But trying to tell me that this has ANYthing to do with the clever, complicated stuff Morrison's doing over in the main book is setting the bar a bit high. Forgettable, and I'm not going to be sticking with this storyline.

۞ Batman Confidential #19 is part three of the storyline, and more of the same: a solidly entertaining flashback story from Fabian Nicieza with exquisite artwork from Kevin Maguire. They've worked together as a creative team before, and they mesh well. Fun stuff.

۞ I know, I know: I swore I was done with Booster Gold. And I hate buying things just because they're part of a crossover -- it makes me feel like a sucker. But I LOVED DC One Million back in the day, so sending this book retroactively into the crossover was reason enough for me to buy it.

The level of disappointment I feel is suitable punishment for letting myself be tricked like this. Hey, DC: it's ISSUE #1,000,000, not the YEAR 1,000,000. It's the year 85,271, as you correctly note on the cover. And if you were going to go to the trouble of matching the cover, why not include the stupid CGI title page that was on all the 1,000,000 issues as well? Seriously half-assed as a One Million tribute, and still meh as a comic on its own. Fool me once, etc.

۞ Secret Invasion #4 is better than Secret Invasion #3. Damning with faint praise? Maybe so, but it's what I've got.

۞ Invincible Iron Man #3 is fantastic. Matt Fraction's script seems carefully designed to be equally applicable to modern Marvel Universe continuity or to Iron Man movie continuity, and it's such a good Iron Man story that I found myself not caring either way. The strongest Iron Man's book has been since ... I dunno, since I was, like, 12. Nice showcase for Larocca's art, too. Much more appropriate than newuniversal.

۞ Okay, okay, a little bit more on Secret Invasion: it feels to me like Bendis is just hitting plot beats, like he just re-read Robert McKee's STORY and is following all the rules on this one. This is the middle issue, so we find out more about the Invasion plans, the heroes begin to regroup, sort of, and ... yeah, it just all completely fails to come alive for me. Oh well. Maybe next issue.

۞ Although I do have to wonder why the whole thing feels so much better in the tie-in books -- Captain Britain and MI-13 #3 is what I want from the MAIN miniseries: a plot with enough energy and momentum to carry itself past its own stupid points; characters who seem different from one another, and invested in the moment; some humor, some wit, some flair; heroic moments that feel genuinely heroic ... this is worth checking out even if you're ignoring SI altogether.

۞ Action Comics #867 does a nice job continuing the Braniac story. It's shaping up to be another nice Geoff Johns-written DCU book and the best Superman's been in a while. But... well, how to put this.... Ah, heck with it, I'll scan in the image, but let's do it in bits and pieces first. This is from the book's splash page. Can you guess what Supergirl is doing?


If you guessed "vomiting," "recovering from a brutal hangover," "smelling something awful," or "appearing in a Warren Ellis comic," you think along the same lines as me. You're also wrong; she's examining a Braniac drone and is meant to be looking frightened.

Here's another bit of the image that irritated me.


Yes, the left side is a bit deceptive as the shadow cast by her arm makes her appear even more unhealthily skinny, but even with out that ... why is Supergirl emaciated? Look at her ribs jutting out -- it makes me want to send her fifty cents a day so she can get away from Sally Struthers.

So let's put together those two images with the rest of it and see what we get...


Yep. It's Paris Hilton: Supergirl. I can't wait for my daughter to be old enough to enjoy this with me.

GET IT TOGETHER, GARY FRANK!

Where is everyone? Matt on 6/2

I was out of town at a wedding! What the hell is everyone else's excuse? Anyhow, here's some belated thoughts on all things comicky for June 2nd.

۞ So there's apparently been some kind of fooferaw over Batman #678, partially because of the blatant use of the stupid "magic negro" trope, partially because some people find it incomprehensible, and mostly because it's becoming clearer and clearer that to fully understand Morrison's Batman run, one is going to have to have read (and remember!) thousands of seriously obscure Batman stories. (So far, "Batman -- The Superman of Planet X," "Robin Dies At Dawn," possibly a few issues of World's Finest, and Batman #47. Great.)

But here's the thing: I'm LOVING this. Yes, the art is atrocious (although I like it much better than I did the Kubert who started the run off). Yes, Morrison is writing in a deliberately elliptical and allusive style. But it's FUN. It's interesting. It's somewhat challenging, I suppose, but mainly in the sense that I'm honestly curious about what's going to happen next month. In other words, it's that rare comic that I enjoy in EXACTLY the same way I enjoyed Transformers off the 7-11 spinner racks when I was a kid. I don't expect everyone to agree, but, there you go.

۞ On a different end of the spectrum is Angel Revelations #2. I'm enjoying this -- Aguirre-Sacasa needs to give up on the more action-y stuff and just accept that drama is his metier -- and Adam Pollina's art is fluid and lovely. But if it disappeared from the shelves tomorrow, I don't really think I'd notice. That said, if you haven't given this a shot, check it out; it's good to reward Marvel when they actually try something interesting and different.

۞ And then there's Astonishing X-Men #25, which ... exists, I suppose. It's easy to forget that Warren Ellis wrote Excalibur for 20-odd issues back in the nineties (especially easy as Marvel hasn't ever bothered reprinting them), but ... yeah, I feel like I saw all of this back then. In those days, it was Moira MacTaggart's coffee, which was terrible. Now it's Beast's coffee, which is apparently terrific. Ellis appears to have decided that the way to humanize superheroes is by having them shill shade-grown organic beans. (Actually, Planetary starts with a coffee discussion as well, as does Ellis's novel Crooked Little Vein. Maybe I'm onto something here.)

Back then Pete Wisdom was the sardonic British character who managed to enliven and poke fun at the mutant team tropes. Now it's Emma Frost (who is not actually British, I don't think, but don't tell her last three or four writers).

It's all good enough, I guess, helped along by Simone Bianchi's van art on steroids. We'll see what Ellis does with it long term, I suppose. I know I've been finding a lot of his recent stuff, from newuniversal to Doktor Sleepless to Black Summer to even Nextwave, MUCH better when read as a chunk. It's like he's abandoned writing for the individual issues altogether.

Anyhow, blah blah blah Warren Ellis-y.

۞ Some of you might remember that I really liked Top Cow's Pilot Season: Genius, and that I encouraged everyone to vote for it in the official Top Cow Popularity Contest Of Popularness. Let's just say that I'm a little cooler to Pilot Season: Alibi, which reads like either the pilot episode of a really dull Alias/24 knockoff or like the first issue of a really mediocre Boom! Studios comic that's clearly being pitched to Hollywood.

Nothing here engages me, nothing makes me want to see where the story goes, and, really nothing here is worth wasting any more time writing about.

Bendis and Morrison ALWAYS come first

I'm off to a good start this week: five whole books wrapped and ready to go. AND I had stacks of work to do at my real job, so I'm awesome.

New Avengers #41 was pretty good. I don't have the book in front of me, but I feel as if there was a note in the first issue of Secret Invasion that explained why Ka-Zar and Shanna weren't around, but I may be making that up. Still, for those who don't read interviews, this issue wraps up some dangling plot threads that showed up in issue #1 or 2, giving New Avengers a cohesion and sense of continuity. That's just nice.

Final Crisis #1 is kind of a slow start. As with so many of these event books, you have to take on faith that the next issue will show that the first issue was good because, on its own, it's kind of weak and scattered. Plus, the Dr. Light/Giganta thing felt forced and out of place. But still, there was plenty to like and it did feel self-contained (unlike Infinite Crisis, which felt like a summary of other books that happened to be going on at the same time) and JG Jones is just an awesome artist. As a bonus, it did feel like Countdown (a 51 issue series that told five issues worth of story) had a point. Not a big point, or even a good one, but a point nonetheless.

All-Star Superman #11 is a very good issue that fails to live up to the last issue (if you haven't read All-Star Superman #10, we can't be friends because it is the greatest single issue of 2008, no question), but that's okay. It's still very good. Good writing, plotting, art. A solid package. When the Absolute Edition comes out (and it will come, no doubt), that's going to be a volume to have.

Batman #677 was the third Grant Morrison book released this week. If only WildC.A.T.S. #2 had also been released... But I digress. I'm excited about this book because, for a year or more, it felt like he was spinning his wheels: weak plots, blown deadlines, art that was barely good enough to be called dreadful, and no apparent direction. This is him pulling it together. He doesn't save or even justify the earlier issues, but he is finally telling a story he cares about and has a sense of purpose again. Some of the ideas that get name-checked are intriguing, but I am guessing (hoping?) these are lies planted by the Black Glove.

King-Size Hulk #1, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of the other books on this list. It's a decent story, lots of big action, just like the Hulk series, but there's no point to it all. The art is great: Art Adams doing more than two pages of interiors is probably worth $5, plus you get Frank Cho and Herb Trimpe to boot. But the story is filler, just mindless backstory that was unnecessary in the main title, so why tell it? I do hope another issue of Hulk gets released, though, because Jeph Loeb and Ed McGuiness at their most Jeph-Loeb-and-Ed-McGuiness-iest is just good times for everyone.

I wonder if I have to review everything every week...

Of the thirty singles I read this weekend, only six actually came out this week. Since Youngblood wasn't one of them, that review will have to wait another month. Or three.

Batman #676: I also read issue #675 and, reading them back to back is kind of weird. In #675, he seems back in peak physical condition after his whole "dying for four minutes" thing, but then in #676, he's tender and off his game. Which is just jolting. As for the issue itself, really good. There's a luchadore business man, the plot is finally moving forward, and (sadly) Tony Daniel's art is welcome after the last issue's ugly renderings.

Booster Gold #9: I love this book. Even this issue, which may be the weakest so far, is still just great. It's a bit darker than the earlier issues, but still a fun read.

Serenity #3: It's an episode of Firefly. If you bought this because you like Joss Whedon and Buffy, you were probably disappointed and/or confused by this. Luckily, because this is written like a graphic novel instead of a three issue miniseries, so even people who liked Firefly were confused, too.

Twelve #5: Between this and the "monthly" Thor, I am liking J Michael Straczynski again. Sure, Amazing Spider-Man fell really hard under his watch, and Bullet Points ranks as one of the worst things I forced myself to read (including Countdown, and that was 51 issues). But with this, he has an idea and he's seeing it through. Sure there are preachy bits (visiting under-priveleged schools), but I personally liked the slight twist (bend, really) that hit the Laughing Mask. Did not see it coming. Really, really good stuff.

Wolverine #65: I really will buy just about any Wolverine comic. Luckily, this was actually pretty good, RetCons and all. It's not gonna win any awards, but Jason Aaron shows he can handle established characters and continuity well.

Guy Richie's Gamekeeper: Series 2 #3: I enjoyed the first volume of this. The high concept here is: Punisher as an actual sociopath. He's taciturn, he kills without remorse, he gets revenge. Volume 1 (at the time just known as "Gamekeeper") was written by Andy Diggle and the lead character spoke maybe three lines an issue and killed gangsters with abandon. Series 2 is written by Jeff Parker, who makes everything too talky, including the anti-social anti-hero from the first volume. While not enjoying it as much as I had the first volume, it was okay. Until now. This issue is just, well, by fits boring and just terrible. The "plot twist" at the end is, quite possibly, the worst plot twist EVER. Not just because it's a cliche, but because it is so out of left field, and involves characters who have only existed for a year that it undermines the eight issues that came before it, making you wonder why you should keep caring about a comic from a third-rate publisher "directed" by Mr. Madonna, who hasn't made a good movie in ten years. Terrible, terrible stuff. I'll keep reading it, though (like Countdown or Bullet Points), but I won't like it.

And that's it, probably for the week. We'll see.

-Paul